"Seriously, what would Trump do?" the Mr. asked me last night. Three weeks of blissful non-stress about childcare, where I focused (and subsequently burned myself out) on work, and suddenly everything is upside down again.
"Yes, but saying to someone 'You're fired!' doesn't make a potentially crazy person go away unless you have a security guard involved," I replied.
It was the first day of our nanny share. E had tucked my phone into a toybox and I retrieved it for our walk only to find it FILLED with missed calls and texts. The last of which was the other mom. The nanny was MIA and a no show for that morning. After getting off of the phone with the other mom, I found an eight screen rambling set of texts sent from midnight that night to around 5 am. I leave my phone in another room at night, and it seems that was a good and bad thing.
Spidey sense last week told me the lady we'd hired had a weird cloud of drama around her. There was also a niggling feeling that I should have trusted. She spent much of her 3 days with us last week complaining about being treated like a stupid servant (her words, not mine) and listing the hurts from previous employers and indexing woes like canning summer fruit. I chalked some of it up to coming off of a bad situation and recently losing her mom. She seemed like she was in an emotional rough patch. Her references were stunning, after all.
Between texting the other mama at 8pm and midnight, saying she was excited for her first day of work, she ended up in the ER with an injury she claimed she suffered from the other family's kid hitting her with a toy truck. Despite being the second house to report to in a few hours, I got the brunt of the information. The other mama (OM for short) had her husband call in sick in an emergency and we all scrambled. I replied to our new nanny to get better and we'd talk later. She sent incoherent texts throughout the day demanding to know if we still liked her. I told her we did (and we do), but focus on recovering and getting better.
OM and I compared notes at the end of the day and decided that even if we had no one else, the new nanny was a bad fit for us. Failing to communicate about not showing up on her first actual day of work aside, the cloud of drama as well as an overabundance of negativity were ultimately what gave us real worry. We were scratching our heads as her initial conversations with us and her references were out of this world. But after the last week's events and skipping out on her first week of work, we decided to cut her loose. I would relate exactly how crazy she became in the last 36 hours, but it's kinda unbelievable. Plus, I feel it makes me look even more insane by just how oddball this woman acted. It's got to be me who attracts the crazy. I am convinced I am marked for bizarre drama.
I volunteered to be the bad guy.
These things are never easy. I wrote the main line, "it's not you, it's us" phrase on a post-it and made the call this morning. Suffering from an outpouring of even more awful and crazy things and responding with, "this is just not working out and our personalities are not a good fit." She accused us of being malicious, ruining her life, and forcing her into potential homelessness. She also started to threaten that she had our keys, but snapped into a saner place before making any threats. 25 minutes later, we calmly agreed on returning our keys and agreed that there was no bad blood. "I would rather have us avoid a bad relationship in the future and just admit that we don't work together now."
It's the first time I've "fired" anyone. And it's over. Thank jaw.
My favorite nanny of the bunch we interviewed was not who we hired. She may or may not be available, and likely working temporarily for someone else. I feel predatory at this point and on the hunt. "Look into the Misfit's eyes, you feel compelled to work with us and the world's most delightful creature, E. Come to Misfit!"
The really, really, really amazing news is that I put out an ad and instantly had three other really great candidates come forward. So while it's all rather inconvenient, it is not without hope. Which might just become my epitaph at this point.